I've got a bone to pick

I need to get something out of the way before I begin. I must say that Romulus's whinges are just another signpost marking our long, steep cultural descent. To address this in a pedantic manner, in the rest of this letter, factual information will be prefaced as such and my own opinions will be clearly stated as opinions. For instance, it is unquestionably a fact that I don't believe that Romulus is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose. So when he says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position.

If one needs a sign that he is shabby, consider that if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem. I believe I have finally figured out what makes people like Romulus extirpate the very things I myself truly cherish. It appears to be a combination of an overactive mind, lack of common sense, assurance of one's own moral propriety, and a total lack of exposure to the real world. His pledge not to increase alienation and delinquency among our young people is merely empty rhetoric, invoked on occasion for theatrical effect but otherwise studiously ignored. Forgive me if I ramble; I'm really upset, as I think you can tell. I claim that we should embrace the cause of self-determination and recognize the leading role and clearer understanding of those people for whom the quintessential struggle is an encompassing liberation movement against the totality of nativism, and I have formalized my commitment to this high ideal by ensuring that I always take the initiative to speak out against parasitic big-labor bosses.

On rare occasions, in order to preserve their liberties, sometimes people must destabilize the already volatile social fabric that Romulus purportedly aims to save. Romulus does that even when his liberties aren't being threatened. Pushy shysters have exerted care always to use high-sounding words like "phytosociological" to hide Romulus's plans to undermine liberty in the name of liberty. But it doesn't stop there. There are three points I need to make here. First, nothing offends him more than the truth. Second, his followers fight more for the negative destruction of opposing ideologies than for the positive promotion of their own. And third, his memoranda are a pitiful jumble of incoherent nonsense. (Actually, "pretentious", "oppressive", and "catty" seem the most appropriate adjectives to describe his biases, but that's not important now.)

We don't have to stand for this! Romulus's "compromises" mean delays in getting things processed, errors in handling requests, inefficiency, and many more years of error from keeping an old system alive. So please permit me to appropriate and paraphrase something I once heard: "Romulus's ideas have served as a powerful weapon with which feeble-minded euphuists can make incorrect leaps of logic."

As it turns out, Romulus has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of Romulus's successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. The first lies that he told us were relatively benign. Still, they have been progressing. And they will continue to progress until there is no more truth; Romulus's lies will grow until they blot out the sun. Okay, I've vented enough frustration. So let me end by saying that I must protest Romulus's use of the worst sorts of untrustworthy tyrants there are to twist the truth.