spaz bares his soul

[SiX.spaz]

alright. this is gonna be long. i am going to try to explain why i've been such an asshole lately. like i said, it'll take a while.

the reason i play r6, is to escape from real life. all the hassles,  cares, and bullshit that i, and i'm sure all of you, have to put up with every day. as a newbie,  i played r6 with some great players, and i got my ass kicked every time. after a while, i was able to kill some of the people, some of the time, all of the people, some of the time, but i was still unable to kill all the people, all the time. this frustrated me, but it became a perfect world for me to escape into. i had something to strive for. i began to spend more and more time in my perfect little world. i played and played and played. the weird part was, it seemed like other people were getting better, and i was getting worse. this went on for some time. then i went away for 6 months. needless to say, i was rusty. that was ok with me, i expected to be rusty. the thing that pissed me off, was that i was getting no respect. i realize that that sounds retarded, like i need respect from people i'll never meet, for playing a stupid computer game (and not very well at that). but this was my perfect world, and it was crumbling around me. at that point i think i had some kind of breakdown. i became a real ass. swearing at everyone, bitching about bs in games, etc. since i can't seem to stop, i'm going to leave gr for a while. i'll come back when i feel i can control myself. sorry to everyone who i've been an ass to. especialy ace and axid.  

[jn.wrath]

Well said, spaz.. I shall be awaiting your return.. : )

[Bondo]

You think that is long? ?Grifter, get in here and show this exposition newbie who's boss.

Anyway Spaz, as I just came back from 4 months off I very much know how you feel. ?When I stopped, I could play with anyone. ?Even SiXes weren't playing much better than me. ?I was on top of the world. ?Enter OS X. ?Now that I'm trying to come back, everything seems like bs. ?Maybe some of it was but likely my time away combined with the fact that most of it was spent playing RtoCW, and my skills were gone. ?Thankfully I still have the occasional game to lift me up and convince me that maybe my 6 months on top weren't just an illusion. ?The respect thing is a big factor too, if that best player thread was up before I left, I'd venture to guess I'd have been mentioned a few times, but unlike some others, I guess I didn't leave a lasting memory of skill and thus I'm just one of the cool DAMNs, not an awesome player.

[Ace]

Wahoo, that's more like the good ol Spaz I knew. To be frank, I asked wrath the other day what the hell had happened and why you were so bitchy. It's good to see that the more easygoing Spaz is back. Just remember, I can always kick your ass at R6. Hell, for that matter, I could take on 8 SiX's vs me no prob. Definitely.

[Bondo]

Congrats on 500 posts Ace (this will be right once you post a reply to this post).  I'll be at 400 by the end of 6 months in the forums.

Oh and btw...bump.

[zak]

word much respect for spaz, but, i dont know about axid, but fuck ace

[cybershark-x]

Man i dunno what the hell u just said, but you reached out and touched a brothers heart.

I'll help ya spaz. Bah, volunteered for something no one ased for fuck it.