Michael Jackson Jokes

[beefyfigure]

Below you will find a generous sample of Michael Jackson jokes.

These are some of my favorites:

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
A: They both leave little boys' rooms with empty sacks!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan have in common?
A: They both play ball in the Minor League!

Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
A: "Don't let your son go down on me."

I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "fucking kids!", and it played Michael Jackson!

Q: Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
A: He ate a nine year old wiener!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the XBox have in common?
A: Both get turned on by kids!

Q: Where's Michael going on holiday?
A: He's off to Tampa with the kids.

Q: What do Michael's rear and an L.A. jail have in common?
A: Both hold the juice!

Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?
A: He heard there's a Youngstown there!

Q: What's Micheal Jackson's Chinese name?
A: Melikeemyoung.

Did you hear Michael Jackson was taken to an emergency room?
Yeah, he choked on a small bone!

Q: Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?
A: It's a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns!

Q: What's 6 + 46 + 5?
A: A threesome with Michael Jackson!

Q: How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Michael Jackson only screws little boys!

Q: Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A: He doesn't mind reaching bottom!

Q: Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?
A: Emily Dick in son!

People, please submit your contributions. ¡Gracias!

[BFG]

Ahh beefy i posted these in poor old Macubers thread i guess they would be more suited here though...

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other is used to carry groceries.

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing”.

Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.

Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.

Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.

Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.

just a couple more...

Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 cub scouts when it hit an iceberg and
started to sink. The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael Jackson asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "Screw the children!"
Michael Jackson looked around eagerly and said, "Do we have time?"

Michael Jackson asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he have
sex. The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years
old.

The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more
allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make
him a priest

[DarK.]

Just going to add my one joke... What do Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common?  They both stick their 30 year old meat into 10 year old buns.

[BFG]

"Legal experts say the key was that the defense really didn’t play the race card. Well, duh. They didn’t know which race to play."

"Michael Jackson was caught on tape saying he was a virgin until he was the age of 32. I mean, is that really shocking? I mean, he was a black man guy 'til he was 35."

"According to the news, Michael Jackson is broke and can't even afford the payroll at Neverland Ranch. So the next time you see Michael with his hands in a 12-year-old's pocket, he might just be looking for lunch money."

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Dick Cheney? One has pasty white skin, fake body parts and he's creepy; the other's Michael Jackson."

"Michael Jackson announced this week that the Neverland Ranch is no longer home to him. He said he can’t go back there. Which of course is really bad news for the kids locked in the crawlspace."

"It's like they always say, if you're rich and white, you can get away with anything."

[Supernatural Pie]

"Michael Jackson announced this week that the Neverland Ranch is no longer home to him. He said he can’t go back there. Which of course is really bad news for the kids locked in the crawlspace."

Hahahahahah-- oh my god... that's the most horrible thing I've ever heard...

 

[beefyfigure]

BFG, those last jokes you posted awfully remind me of those Leno made on his show. Brilliant stuff anyway. I almost wet my pants! No, really! Really. Re-ally.

Another round, please!

Q: How do you know when it's midnight at Michael Jackson's house?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party!

Q: What did the male sunbather shout at Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my son!

Q: What caused Michael Jackson’s problem?
A: He felt little Randy.

Q: Where does Michael Jackson look for dates?
A: Boys 'R Us.

Michael Jackson was arrested yesterday. According to the Santa Barbara Police, Michael Jackson is 5'11 and only weighs 120 pounds. Michael is able to keep his weight down because he only orders off the children's menu.
 
Good news for Michael Jackson, not guilty on ten counts! The bad news—he's going to Disneyland!

[BFG]

Yep those ones came from Mr Leno


What does Jackson have in common with whisky?
They both come in small tots

Good to see Michael Jackson dangling his kid off the balcony. Usually he just
tosses them off.

What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A Michael Jackson slumber party

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
Acne usually doesn't come on a child's face until he's at least 12.

[bronto]

I'll post the 2 of mine that didn't get reposted here:

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds? Because there's twenty of them.

Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart? Because he heard boys pants were half off.

[DarK.]

Another version of that one Bronto, What do Michael Jackson and K-Mart have in common, they both have little boys pants half off.