Assorted Funny Shit

So that crank makes your marker into a Gatling gun? Hahahaha, that rocks.

New funny shit, found on a friend's personal forum. Don't know where he lifted it from.

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oh and this just in, The Bush campaign's game plan:

If there is violence, we are winning because it shows they are desperate. If there is no violence, we are winning because we have brought peace. If the violence is a large attack, it shows they are so weak that they need to focus their manpower and resources on spectacular attacks in order to exaggerate their importance and it shows we are winning. If the violence is a series of small attacks, it shows we are winning because they have been reduced to fighting small battles. If parts of the country aren't under our control, it shows we are winning because they have consolidated into pockets of resistance because they know they have lost most of the war. If the violence is spread out across the country, it shows we are winning because the attacks are spread out instead of having any sort of organizational focus that could take the country out of our hands. If foreign fighters are involved, it shows we are winning because the Iraqis support us and only outside troublemakers are keeping things going. If domestic fighters are involved, it shows we are winning because the old regime is fighting for its last gasps because it knows it can't win open and free elections. If we can't hold open and free elections in every community, it is because we are winning and those obstacles are a last ditch attempt to block democracy. If other regimes are opening up, it shows that taking a hard line on Iraq was essential to forcing reform. If other regimes are closing themselves to the world, it shows that a hardline on Iraq was right because these regimes can't be trusted and are revealing their true colours. If the person on the street opposes America, it is because we are winning and evil regimes only prop themselves up through misinformation and bogeymen. If the person on the street supports America, it is because we are winning over their hearts and minds. If we can't find weapons of mass destruction, it shows we are winning because we prevented an evil man from acquiring them. If we find weapons of mass destruction, then we were right all along and thank god we are winning the war against them. If terrorists strike our allies, it shows we are winning that they are hurting enough to have to try and scare them out of a winning coalition. If the terrorists don't strike our allies, it is because we are winning and new security measures have been working and being part of the coalition is paying off.

If something is wrong, it shows that we are right
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